View From an Irish Back Yard


The Unpredictable

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”  – Woody Allen

It’s been over a month now, since we picked up our life and moved out of Indianapolis.  We crossed 2300 miles of open road, and passed through nine states. It was a real adventure, and one that continues! But more on that in a moment.

Devil's Tower Rear View (c) Frank Kelly

Devil’s Tower Rear View (c) Frank Kelly

I’m happy to report that the kids were real troopers.  There was the occasional whining around nap time, but mostly they adapted surprisingly well.  Even Georgie, the dog, acclimated herself to the cramped quarters of the minivan.  And the minivan herself ran remarkably well (now at 14 years old, 192,000 miles and counting!), the only mishap being a rock chip in the windshield 30 minutes outside our final destination! So we drove, both Frank and I, through wind and rain, mountain passes, flat prairies, through forests and over rivers.  We listened to all kinds of music and books on CD, and we had silent times, too.  We visited friends and family and we made lots and lots of memories.  There were tears of joy, and of pain.

Hyalite Reservoir

Hyalite Reservoir

I’d like to tell you about every moment, but I must confess, the two parts of our trip that stand out the most are The Disaster and The Unfinished Sequel.

The Disaster
Our trip went like this – Day 1: Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin.  Day 2: Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota.  Day 3: South Dakota, Wyoming. Day 4: Wyoming, Montana. On that fourth day we arrived in my hometown of Bozeman.  We had planned to stop and stay a day or two with my parents, rest up, and get back on the road in order to arrive in Seattle on Friday or Saturday.  It was sunny and lovely, we arrived at about lunchtime and set about catching up with my folks.  I had a bit of heartburn that evening when we went to bed, but I didn’t think anything of it.

By lunchtime the next day (Thursday), I was in a lot of pain and the usual remedies were not working.  I went to Urgent Care and expressed my concerns that this might be a reoccurrence of the Pancreatitis that plagued me when I was pregnant with Shea (and forced me into an early induction). The doctor took some tests, and while I waited for them to come back, my condition quickly worsened.  I had walked in on my own, but within an hour or so, I was laid out on the bed in the examination room as the nurse tried to hook me up to an IV for the pain.  I was then sent to the ER, the suspected prognosis, Pancreatitis. I don’t remember much of being admitted to the hospital, but I know that I spent four miserable days there.  This is in no way a slight on Bozeman Deaconess – the staff were truly awesome andI can’t think of a single person who deserves complaint.  But I was not in a good way at all.  Once in the hospital, I was hooked up to one, and later two, IVs of fluid, strong pain killers and anti-nausea medication.  The doctor also put me on antibiotics and iron supplements.  After that, all I could do was wait and try to rest, until the inflammation went down.

Bruises, Needles, ID Bracelets

Bruises, Needles, ID Bracelets

It’s kind of amazing how quickly a body can deteriorate. I mean, I’m not a fine specimen of fitness, but I’m 32, I eat pretty well, run around after my kids and can’t complain of too many ailments, aside from various aches and pains associated with my age and lifestyle.  I don’t smoke, rarely drink, eat my fruits and veggies, etc. Yet, within a matter of about 6 hours of feeling the dreaded familiar abdominal pains, I was confined to a bed, unable to stand, eat, drink, or even use a toilet.  My lipase levels were up over 5000 (when normal levels range from 10 – 140 U/L) and my blood pressure kept dipping very low.  I had two IVs of fluid and oxygen at times when I was struggling to breathe.  It was scary and miserable and I was totally helpless.

Of course, our insurance was good through the end of September… and I got sick on the 2nd of October.

But, with the help of my family and a great team of healthcare professionals, I made it through.  I had a couple days without food or drink and started retaining water really badly, so as I gained my strength back, I tried to slowly walk the halls.  On the third day there, I was allowed to go back on a liquid diet, which was music to my ears.  By Sunday, I was able to go back to my parents and continue recovering there.  I did have to go back to the ER two days later with a subsequent infection, and we stayed in Bozeman a total of 10 days so I could rest.

At that stage, we got back in the car and split our final leg of the journey to Seattle in two, stopping to spend the night in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho between. We finally arrived in Seattle, Washington, on Monday, 13th of October, just two and half weeks ago.

Montana Rainbow

Montana Rainbow

The Unfinished Sequel
While all this was going on… Frank had another curveball thrown at him.  Or to him, perhaps.  We had, of course, been putting all our eggs in the Seattle basket for weeks, months, doing research, getting excited!  Just read my last post!!! We’d been applying for jobs and making contacts all summer and were all set to live with friends in Kenmore when we got here.  Then, while we were in Bozeman, Frank unexpectedly got interviewed for a job with a company called Shawk, which works for Apple, is based at Apple HQ in Cupertino, CA.  He had been interviewed by them about six months ago and did not get the position, so we had abandoned the idea of it at that time. Well, they were looking for someone again, and were really interested in talking to Frank again.

We were totally dumbfounded, confused and excited all at once.  Should he go for it?  Should he not?  We’d made plans!  And to be honest, we had our hearts set on Seattle, sight unseen.  But the Lord works in mysterious ways, so they say, and we figured it would be foolish for Frank to not at least consider the possibility.  Long story short, he went through five more interviews, the last of which was in person in California.  Then, a week ago, he heard from them, and was offered the job.  By Monday morning, he had flown back down there to start work on Tuesday.

So! Yeah.  Here I am, still in Seattle, still living off the goodwill of our friends, with the kids and the dog!  And I guess we’re moving down to the San Francisco Bay Area!  I’m not sure when, or how, but hopefully by Thanksgiving at the latest.

Sunset View From the Space Needle

Sunset View From the Space Needle

I never, ever, in a million years, would have, could have predicted such a turn of events.  Never.  Ever.  I am still sort of in shock.  And a little unsure.  But happy! And anxious.

It’s incredible, I guess, what opportunities await you around every corner, if you’re willing to give it a try, and take the risk.  I am not even going to guess at what our future holds, not even for the next week, but I have to admit, I don’t know when I’ve felt so intrigued by life.  If all this can happen in the span of a month… what do the next 50 years hold?

I’ll do my best to keep sharing as we journey on. :)

In the meantime, if you have any recommendations (including jobs, blogs, books, mummy groups, etc.) for the SF Bay Area, please do share.  I’m sort of at a loss for where to start.  Again.

And do keep us all in your prayers as we figure this out. ;)

Click Here To Watch: The Kellys’ Great Western Adventure – Slideshow



In Search of Home
September 20, 2014, 5:48 am
Filed under: America, Family, Home, Indianapolis, Seattle, travel | Tags: , , , , ,
Indianapolis Skyline from the War Memorial Mall, on Indy 500 Parade Day.

Indianapolis Skyline from the War Memorial Mall, on Indy 500 Parade Day.

It’s been just over a year since we moved, immigrated, back to the USA from Ireland.

Evelyn is going on 5 years old.  She’s started forgetting things, like how her Nana’s house looked, or what her little cousins’ names are, or who our doting neighbours there were.  She remembers a lot of funny little things, but not always the details and persons we so wish she’d recall.  Shea, on the other hand, was just 6 months old when we moved, now 19 months.  He remembers nothing from our former life, and only knows his Irish family from waving and blowing kisses to them over Skype.

Moving so far away from the people and places you love has to be done for a lot of really solid reasons.  And, once you’re gone, and homesick, and looking back and questioning why, somewhere along the lines you better feel, in your heart, that it was worth it.  The sacrifices led to something better.

Springtime, tree in bloom.

Springtime, tree in bloom.

My earliest personal memories come from the summer I was 3 years old.  I remember that summer in very vivid bits and pieces because it was my family’s first big road trip, from Bozeman to Seattle. My parents packed up our little black Buick Skylark, buckled my sisters and me into the back seat and headed  off, nearly 700 miles West.  I remember being afraid of everything on that trip – The Space Needle, the ferries, the shower in our motel!  I remember playing with my cousin, Paul, and I remember my Uncle Mac dropping an ear of buttered corn on the cob onto the floor and all of us laughing.  I remember my mother getting a bee stuck up her pants.  I remember posing for a lot of boring pictures. I remember the Sees candy shop with its little playhouse.  I remember my dad prying starfish off the rocks in a tidal pool and leaving them in the trunk of our car until the smell became unbearable. I remember rain forests, and my hooded rain coat and miniature villages on display in Victoria, BC.  And, perhaps the strongest sensory memory of all is simply the one of sitting in that back seat, in traffic, the rain drops racing each other down the widows, and listening to a Simon & Garfunkel tape over and over again.  “I’m sittin’ in the railway station, got a ticket for my destination, Mmmmhmm…”

I could be anywhere in the world and hear the first few bars of that song and be instantly transported back to Seattle, and my 3 year-old self.

I don’t know if it’s irony, or destiny, but by this time next weekend, our little family will be homeward bound to Seattle.  Yes – you read it right – after just a year, we’re packing up our things, selling what we can, saying goodbye to friends, and moving again.  And adding another 2300 miles to the distance already between us and Ireland. Continue reading



Jam, Goodbyes and Late Summer Ramblings
July 31, 2014, 3:04 pm
Filed under: America, Family, Food and Drink, Friends, Indianapolis, Ireland in General

It’s just after 9 a.m. and I’m finally moving.  The kids seem to get me up too early these days, but I won’t let the couch call my name again today (if I can help it).  I pour my first cup of coffee – my favorite – and watch it swirl and steam up inside the cup, like futures in a crystal ball.  I love watching that first cup of coffee.  I add a dash of cream and watch it follow a counterclockwise  swirling pattern.

Evelyn is sitting on the couch in her princess nightgown, swinging her legs and dress-up shoed feet in time to a song she’s making up.  Shea is napping and Frank is still asleep.

Evey's Flowers

Evey’s Flowers

It’s a beautiful, sunny morning, cool and clear but humid in nearly tropical proportions.  At least to someone who spent the majority of the last 6 years in Ireland.  I’m so thankful that this has been one of the coolest Julys on record in Indianapolis.  It’s still been a hot one for us, but not unbearable, particularly considering we still don’t have the air conditioning fixed on our minivan.  And it’s nice not to have to keep the air on all the time in house, too.  I wish I could keep the windows in the house wide open all the time, really, but that’s unfortunately not an option in our neighbourhood.

Cherry Pits

Cherry Pits

I’m making strawberry cherry rhubarb jam.  A strange combination, maybe, but it’s made out of the over-ripe stuff I have on hand, like all the best jams are (of course).  I’m pitting the cherries with my fingers and staining my cuticles.  Ah well.

Cherries get kind of a bad rap.  They’re kind of the Regina Spektor of the fruit world – lovely and worthy but a bit of work to get into.  Like drinking from a cup and saucer instead of a mug.  Like starting your summer plants early from seed instead of buying 2 inch plants from a store.  It’s a nice idea, but no one has time for that.  I think it’s sad that people avoid cherries for “easier” fruits like apples or bananas or strawberries.  When I was growing up in Montana, Flathead Cherries were anticipated all Spring.  Rainier Cherries, too.

I remember the Friday fruit stall in Drogheda would often have gorgeous piles of ripe, red cherries that didn’t attract any attention beyond small swarms of yellow jackets.   The proprietors would walk up and down in front of their stall with samples of the beautiful fruit, and samples of fresh Spanish peaches and nectarines, too, but couldn’t coax the aul’ Irish ladies to try any.  “I don’t like the stones,” they’d complain.  “I don’t like the fuzz.” So I bought some cherries, most weeks, and some peaches and nectarines, too, even though I was usually the only one in our house to eat them. Continue reading



Heroes, Inspiration and Big Questions
July 8, 2014, 1:43 am
Filed under: America, Family, Film, Indianapolis, Literature, Music, Writing

Lately, I feel like people are thinking, “Oh Geez, here come those complaining Kellys again. Never happy.”

If you follow our Facebook or Twitter accounts, read my husband’s or my blogs or keep up with us in any way, you will have seen a lot of up and down commentary from us over the last good while. Job frustrations, money woes, loneliness, homesickness for Ireland, challenges with the kids, and certainly a lot of anxiety since our home intrusion back in April. But mostly, I think, our admitted dissatisfaction comes from a passionate and unquenchable desire to be something more. To hold on to our dreams, and work hard for them. To leave a mark. To mean something. And the knowledge that we are not “getting anywhere” at the moment.

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Me, full of dreams, back in 2009.

I’ve found myself asking a lot of questions lately. Does everyone dream big, but only a few achieve? Why do some people never “get there?” Is it a matter of work, or belief, or opportunity, or luck? If God puts talents and desires into each of us, shouldn’t we fight for them, and try our best to see them through?

I know, when looking at famous examples throughout history, a lot of dreamers had to sacrifice things like family, friends, even health and certainly money, in order to follow their hearts. Some of these people were selfishly obsessed with money or fame. Some were simply driven by belief in what they had to offer. I’d like to think that Frank and I are part of the latter group. We both, and together, have deep, sincere, heart-felt, nearly primal dreams we dream every day. They don’t really involve celebrity, power, or fortune, but rather a better life for our kids and a greater feeling of satisfaction and some pride in what we’ve been able to give back to the world.

We are, both of us, story tellers.

Frank, full of dreams, back in 2010.

Frank, full of dreams, back in 2008.

Yet, it seems unpopular in our world today for anyone past the age of, oh, say 25, to dream. That’s kid stuff. If you haven’t taken a risk or made your mark by then, you need to give it up. It’s selfish and foolhardy to pursue personal ambitions past 30, much less 40! And when you have kids? Don’t even think about it.

It’s like we’re perpetuating a myth, generation after generation of us, raising children with hope and encouragement, only to squelch our own ambitions before they can fly if they don’t succeed within an accepted time frame. We watch our parents and grandparents give up, and we dream for a little while, and then give up, too. We tell our kids to dream, and then watch them close the door when their own little ones come. And unless you’re extremely driven, or lucky, or cut-throat about it, you won’t break free.

I find this ideology incredibly frustrating. And I feel like I can’t sincerely tell my daughter and son to aim high and reach for the stars if I won’t allow myself, or Frank, to do it as well. Continue reading



Bookends

“Old friends, old friends, sat on their park bench like bookends.”

When I was in college, my summer job was working as an interpreter at a living history farm in Bozeman, Montana.  Looking back, I could not imagine myself landing a better job than this – dressing up as a circa 1900 woman, cooking on a wood stove, talking to visitors, learning how to crochet and embroider and sew on a treadle machine, getting to try a huge array of interesting vegetables from an ever-expanding heritage garden, and, best of all, learning from the bottomless well of knowledge that was our volunteer base.  We had everything from blacksmiths to gardeners, spinners and weavers and musicians, all historians of sorts, all (or mostly) lovely, wise, fascinating people.

Karen at the Tinsley House with our first attempt at cheese making, summer 2001

Karen at the Tinsley House with our attempt at cheese making, Summer 2001

My favourite days on the farm were usually Saturdays, particularly early in the season when it was still a bit chilly.  If it was raining out, the house would be dark (no electricity!) and visitors rarely came down the wooden sidewalk.  Those were the days when I would build up the fire in the wood stove, make a big pot of cowboy coffee, and sit around the table with my boss, Dave Kinsey, and one of my very favourite ladies, Karen James.  I was only a teenager, but they never, ever made me feel small.  We would talk about the farm, Western history, our town, our lives, local politics, and so on.  And, usually, Karen would bring a truly magnificent coffee cake.  We’d sit there, cozy and pleasant, eating piece after piece of this sinfully buttery cake covered in sugary walnuts and cinnamon.  We’d drink gallons of coffee, ignoring the grounds sinking to the bottom of our cups as we topped up and poked the fire.  I know it sounds funny and a little naughty that I loved those peaceful mornings when nobody would come around the house looking for a tour!  But it was those sweet friendships we were forging that I found myself looking forward to all week, and missing when the job was over for another summer.

A few years later, when I was working for Heartland Truly Moving Pictures in downtown Indianapolis, I formed similar bonds with many of the staff.  I still remember when Kevin Swiontek would poke his head in my office nearly every morning with the same single worded question: “Coffee?” He’d usually accompany the query with a gesture of drinking a cup.  I would smile, grab my purse, and join the group that   also usually included my friends Claire Brosman and Kristi Gross as we walked across the street to Nordstrom’s coffee shop.  Somehow, we all needed those few moments of camaraderie at the start of our long days, just a short break to get a breath of fresh air and ask how everyone’s weekends went.  It brought us closer as friends and co-workers.  And if it was a good day, or perhaps a particularly bad day, I would treat myself to Nordstrom’s “old-fashioned” coffee cake, which was the closest confection I’ve ever had, before or since, to Karen’s wonderful cake.  This one was probably factory made, but still buttery, rich, and sweet with nuts and cinnamon.  So the same comfortable association lived on, even in another time and another city. Continue reading



Family
April 27, 2014, 3:08 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

Families are hard work.  There are always members, be they brothers, sisters, uncles, fathers, cousins, who will feel ostracized.  Perhaps, that was even their intention.  Perhaps not.  

We fight.  Sometimes we make up.  Sometimes we sit in silence, miles away, waiting for a phone call or a visit or a letter that doesn’t come for years.  Or may not come at all.  We misunderstand.  We try to make our own values fit the people we love, even when that dress will never, and should never, be altered for someone else.  

And we hold ourselves back from the others, too.  We tell ourselves we’re the black sheep.  We remind ourselves of things said or done, maybe years ago, that put up walls between us and the ones we love.  And we wonder if we still love each other.  

I feel like the older I get, the less I understand about life.  The longer I’m on this earth, the more I realize that my days here are nothing I ever expected.  But, for better or for worse, I want my family to know that I love them.  

You can’t do anything that will make me stop loving you.  We’ve crushed each other with harsh words and unkind deeds, some on purpose, some unintentional.  We will never be able to understand some things about each other.  But I love you, now and always.  And when the storms of life come, I will link arms with you, even though we’re miles, states, countries, continents apart! You can’t do anything that will make me stop loving you. 

And I thank you for loving me, too. 



East Side Indy
April 11, 2014, 3:35 am
Filed under: America, Crime, Family, Indianapolis

My head is throbbing.

I am jumpy, skitterish, probably unnecessarily anxious.

Today was a long day – getting Evelyn off to pre-school at 8:30, coming home to catch up on dishes and try to work on an article, then work at Starbucks 12:30, taking Frank to work at 5:30, then getting a babysitter and going to do a film review this evening.  I missed dinner and didn’t have much of a lunch.  I felt almost jovial coming out of the movie, stopped in to Trader Joe’s and headed for the highway home.

At the stoplight just before I69/465, I clicked on the little indicator that says how much gas I have left – oops, only 7 miles until empty.  And I was in the wrong lane to turn around.  So I got on the highway, nervous and scanning the exits for a gas station.  This wouldn’t do – I had to get off at Lawrence.  I wasn’t going to end up stranded at night on the highway with one headlight and no one to rescue me.  I drove down a street that, while well lit, was not where I wanted to be.  I had to pull in to the first gas station – really the only gas station – I could see, and as I did, I noticed there were police cars parked askew in the lot and a couple officers having heated debate with some young girls.  I tried to stay nonchalant, but a voice came over the speaker and told me I’d have to pre-pay inside.  So I locked the car and walked through the police cars and in to the station.  I waited in line, listening to the shouts and curses of people in the store.  I could feel my face flushing, a rushing sound filling my ears and a sort of desperation as I willed the line to move faster.  I paid a polite cashier and quickened my steps back to the car, where I put $20 worth in my tank.  A well-dressed man on the other side of the pump filled his car and shook his head at me, saying, “I’m just dreading this summer, when those crime rates are gonna climb even higher.  A few months from now, I don’t even want to see.  It’s already started.  These young kids, they just don’t care, don’t even care about living.”  I nodded soberly back at him.

I finished pumping my gas, wished the man good night and safe home, and got back in my car, locked the doors and got back on the highway.  But the more I thought about it, the more I began to feel the chills of reality.  He was right, and I knew it.  Everyone around here knows it.  This summer is going to be bad, unless something changes. Continue reading




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