View From an Irish Back Yard


Family
April 27, 2014, 3:08 am
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Families are hard work.  There are always members, be they brothers, sisters, uncles, fathers, cousins, who will feel ostracized.  Perhaps, that was even their intention.  Perhaps not.  

We fight.  Sometimes we make up.  Sometimes we sit in silence, miles away, waiting for a phone call or a visit or a letter that doesn’t come for years.  Or may not come at all.  We misunderstand.  We try to make our own values fit the people we love, even when that dress will never, and should never, be altered for someone else.  

And we hold ourselves back from the others, too.  We tell ourselves we’re the black sheep.  We remind ourselves of things said or done, maybe years ago, that put up walls between us and the ones we love.  And we wonder if we still love each other.  

I feel like the older I get, the less I understand about life.  The longer I’m on this earth, the more I realize that my days here are nothing I ever expected.  But, for better or for worse, I want my family to know that I love them.  

You can’t do anything that will make me stop loving you.  We’ve crushed each other with harsh words and unkind deeds, some on purpose, some unintentional.  We will never be able to understand some things about each other.  But I love you, now and always.  And when the storms of life come, I will link arms with you, even though we’re miles, states, countries, continents apart! You can’t do anything that will make me stop loving you. 

And I thank you for loving me, too. 

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3 Comments so far
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I love you,  too, Maryann, and wish I could embrace you in person.

Thanks for writing this, and for your sincere and loving heart.  As you seek to be your best, truest self, may you find genuine fulfillment and happiness.

xo, MOM

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Comment by Ann Koopman

Families. The lovely wonderful people we are born to know, the difficult, painful people we are born to deal with. The love and acceptance, discord we are forced to accept. But in the end, I love you because we are family, but I don’t actually like you. I won’t always support you, I will never desert you. I may or may not acknowledge you…but in my heart I will know you. I may hate you, but I will likely not forsake you. In the end, despite our differences, disagreements, hate, love, actions. I promise not to condone but to acknowledge you as family.

Comment by deb319

I know it’s not your overall point, just something you said, about waiting for a phone call. It’s easy to do, wait for a call when you wish you were hearing from someone. It’s usually hard for me to pick up the phone myself for the silly reason that I can’t think of an answer to the expected question.”Yes, what do you want?” I just want to talk. Now, if I received the call I would simply be happy to hear from them and would delightedly talk away. It’s hard to swap those perspectives and assume the same response would happen if I called them, but the fact is it probably would.

This isn’t a “When you wish they would call, make the call yourself” thing so much as an encouragement that if you do they’ll probably be glad to hear your voice. Not that you have an issue with this. I often do, or I used to, and I saw the sentiment above.

Comment by W. David Lichty




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