I know you are all like, “What the heck, Koopgirl, stop posting! Your life is not that exciting!” But seriously – this is a must-post bit of info.
Meet Lesbian Lady, who lives directly beneath me with Lesbian Lover.
Hi Lesbian Lady. She is very tall and drives a van with bumperstickers that say things like “If You’re Not Outraged, You’re Not Paying Attention” and “Real Women Drive Trucks.”
One time I found Lesbian Lady and Lesbian Lover asleep on top of eachother in the laundry room. I guess the spin cycle got them going. (ahem – bad joke.)
Fast forward to yesterday. I found out Lesbian Lady is actually a man named Stephen. Stephen likes children; actually, he likes them a little too much because he’s twice been charged with child molestation, amounting to 15 years sentenced jail time. Now Stephen is turning over a new leaf as Lesbian Lady and lives in the apartment under me. The End.
I guess that means I really should stop walking the halls at night in my Elmo slippers singing “The Ants Go Marching.” Dang. (Sorry, another bad joke. )
That’s just one story of the 300 registered sex offenders within a two mile radius of my apartment. Sometimes knowing less makes it easier to sleep at night. Or eat at night, for that matter.
7/120 – and I like this music when I work out.