Fill in the blank: I could never marry someone who _______ .

I could never marry someone who doesn’t use turn signals.


If it wasn’t clear already, I am officially going to hell.

This morning I stole a box from the United States Post Office. I didn’t realize until later, as I started my car that, “Oh, I was probably supposed to pay for this.”

Not only that, but as I was leaving the P.O. with my stolen goods, I missed a little old black man holding the door for me. He grunted indignantly and said, “Well! I just held the door for nothing!”

“I’m so sorry,” I replied, “I didn’t even notice.”

“God tells me to do one good thing a day, and that was it! Completely wasted!!”

“Gosh… I really am sorry…wow…”


7 thoughts on “

  1. I too have stolen those boxes. I don’t think you go to hell for it. You would go to hell for holding up the line to return it.
    You’d be surprised what you could marry. I would have to say “is a sports fanatic”.

  2. I could never marry someone who…HAS STOLEN BOXES FROM THE UNITED STATES POST OFFICE!  THANKS, YOU HAVE NOW JUST, SINGLE HANDEDLY, RUINED MY FUTURE SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS!!!  (how’s that, feel better?  But the turn signal thing, that’s good too.  But there’s so many things you don’t find out about some one until AFTER you’re married!)

  3. You’d think God would also tell him acknowledgement isn’t a part of the “goode deed” equation. Sometimes God is so vague. Not today though, he explicitly told me to comment on your site and eat a chicken and egg bagel from Chick-Fil-A. I’m 2 for 2. Happy, God?

  4. When I married my husband, he always turned on his signal to turn. Now… I think Seattle traffic has done something to him. “If they won’t, I won’t! He almost got in a wreck on the way home from work yesterday due to a non-signaller.

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