So try and stop me.

So I’m 24, mid-level, mid-America, single, debt-cursed, unsure, and occasionally depressed. So what? Why should that stop me?


 


I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing.


 


I’ll sing “Beast of Burden” with the Stones in my car… and mean it.


I’ll wear sexy underwear and cute pj’s – for me.


I’ll grow flowers. I’ll smell coffee.


I’ll cook up elaborate breakfasts with tons of dirty dishes, and I’ll skip dinner if I feel like it.


I’ll splurge. I’ll save.


 


Maybe I’ll chew on painful memories. Maybe I won’t.


I’ll cry.


I’ll paint, even if no one likes my work. Even if I don’t like it.  


I’ll write as often or as little as I like. I won’t worry about being trite.


I’ll feel secure in my Christianity, even without a spiritual leader living under the same roof.


I’ll doubt, too.


 


I’ll thoroughly examine myself in the mirror, from the width of my thighs to the circles under my eyes. I’ll feel insecure. I’ll feel lonely.


 


I’ll explore. I’ll return. I won’t try to recreate.


I’ll go to concerts, buy drinks, ride the Ferris Wheel, vote, fish, get manicures…even if no one notices.


I’ll name my babies. I’ll pick my dishes.


I’ll ride a motorcycle. I’ll buy a house.


I’ll wish but I won’t wait.


 


I’ll bounce checks. I’ll ignore red lights. I’ll make people mad.


I’ll be honest, even if you don’t like it and especially if I don’t like it.


I’ll be sensitive. I’ll try. I’ll regret.


 


I’ll raise my standards. I’ll lower my requirements.


I’ll let myself be as human as much as I remind others. I’ll give grace.


I’ll be.


 


So try and stop me.

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12 thoughts on “So try and stop me.

  1. i love you, my little american bridget jones.  you are fantastic.  and i may not be a stunningly handsome twentysomething man.  but i see you.  and you are beautiful.

  2. Thursday, July 20th, at the Music Mill, opening up for a group called Cowboy Mouth.  Good post.  Just keep on keepin’ on!  Right arm, farm out, and physcadellic!  (those are all “old” terms from my early years!)

  3. Airs Above the Ground is my favorite from Mary Stewart.  (I also liked Moonspinners, Nine Coaches Waiting, Madam Will You Talk? and My Brother Michael.)  She wrote a bunch of fantasy books (Merlin the wizard, that kind of thing) — I didn’t care for those.

  4. a couple things: I feel you on the size issue-but (un)fortunately I fluccuate weight enough to justify have a variety.  secondly-I saw Bozeman,  MT made a list of 150 top cheap places to live in the US.  There were a couple other MT places as well- I thought of you, and Annie.

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