Xanga: When I am a mom

Update: A little bird told me this sounds like a slam on my mom – that is not at all what it’s meant to be and I want you all to know that before you read it and get offended. It’s merely my observations on motherhood in general… and, hopefully, if my mom reads this (as she occasionally has been known to do), she will laugh about the basketball head and leave feeling relatively unscathed. That said, read on:

Funny how important moms are in our lives. Literally, and figuratively. The relationship you have with your mom can affect your whole outlook on life, on what it means to be a woman (or a man), on what you think of yourself. One five-minute conversation with your mom can ruin your day or make your week.

I’ve been thinking about moms a lot lately… what it means to be a mom… what kind of a mom I want to be (far, far down the road)…

It probably started with the whole infamous “Popple Story” over lunch last week, when I explained to my co-workers about how long I’ve had a maternal instinct. And it probably escalated with the books I’ve been reading, movies I’ve been watching, and conversations I’ve been having. Plus, I’ve really noticed the truth in that old adage – see how a guy treats his mom, and you see how he’ll treat his wife.

Anyway, this rambling does, in fact, lead somewhere. Those of you who are moms may laugh, but here is the list of things ACTUALLY WITNESSED that I will never do to my children:

– I will never scream obscenities at my children in public (especially when telling them not to curse).

– I will never grab my little boy from behind, pinching his balls to make him listen (I saw it at Meijer on Saturday)

– I will never make my kids “finish everything on your plate.” I seriously think this causes kids (especially girls) to have food issues. I will, however, make them take bites of everything and they won’t be allowed dessert if they don’t at least eat most of their dinner.

– I will never forbid my kids to have their own opinions, especially concerning “that rock music junk.”

– I will never put on an enormous basketball head and run the length of the court yelling for my child’s team.

– I will never make my kids feel guilty about crushes, or puberty or sex.

– I will never tell my kids that alcohol is evil.

– I will never allow my children to become ethnocentric or racist, at least not under my roof.

– I will never make my kids campaign door-to-door or march in picket lines when they don’t even understand what they’re doing.

 There. Let it be said. And since I don’t mean this to be a slam on motherhood, or anyone’s mother in particular (except maybe that poor little boy’s), here are some things I will do:

– I will take my kids to church and show them that my faith is an integral part of my life.

– I will show my babys’ daddy some real lovin’ to set a good example.

– I will resist the fear to censor the world… and as my kids age and things become appropriate, I will share films, books and music that are important to their cultural literacy.

– I will tell my kids that there is a Santa Claus, an Easter Bunny and a Tooth Fairy. The Window-Penny Fairy, Cereal Fairy, Easter Turtle and Suzie Snowflake may be pushing it, though…

– I will tease my children, teach them the art of sarcasm, and instill in them the ability to laugh at oneself.

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