Help! Let me just say I think I’m losing my identity.

Working as a nanny now for about a month, I’ve realized I have little to no contact with the outside world. Frank is pretty much it, and via text message! (We try phone calls at night when I’m done, but he can’t hear me very well when I’m whispering under the covers.) I’m just so consumed with childcare duties that I rarely have time to get online, much less blog or email! So I just want to send kudos to those of you who actually have small children and manage to blog weekly or sometimes several times a week!

Of course… I’m sure your famillies may be different. Let me ask you the following questions to determine whether or not you may need a nanny:

A) Do all your children’s clothes have the labels of GAP or Gymboree? Or, for those over six, does everything but the school uniforms have “High School Musical” tattooed everywhere?

B) Do these clothes, including sweatshirts and jeans, require ironing?

C) Do you have coordinating duvet covers, pillow cases and throw pillows, each of which “cost a fortune” for all your children? And do all these bed linens need to be ironed as well?

D) Do you avoid at all costs getting your children wet, dirty, too cold, too hot, or in any position where they might trip and fall?

E) When you walk in your children’s playroom, do all the toys have live batteries and talking, moving or musical capabilities, making it resemble the Christmas Decor aisle at Wal-mart?

F) Do you cook at least three different meals in an evening, one for each child, with possibly additional meals when someone claims “I’ve gone off pesto” ?

G) Does the playroom and kitchen need mopping and/or hoovering nearly every day?

H) Do your children need to be in matching and coordinating outfits, including button down dress shirts for the 3 year old boy, every day, even if they never leave the house?

I) Does your six-year-old daughter refuse to go to bed until after 11 p.m. because she’s not done watching the Simpson’s?

J) Does your one-year-old baby let out blood-curdling screams and attack you with razor nails when you don’t give her what she wants?

K) Does all the food for the children in your home have to be organic, free-range and fresh? Even pasta and candy?

If you’ve answered yes to three or more of these questions, you may need a nanny. But please don’t call me! I’ve already got my hands full. 🙂

And, as a disclaimer, it’s not meant to be mean… nannying is just much harder than I thought, and this family is very different than any I’ve ever babysat for!! Ah well…

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5 thoughts on “

  1. SICK SICK SICK…nope….none of those things line up with my parenting decisions…..kian is lucky to get his shirt changed if he barfs all over it. you should be my nanny…you could bring the baby out of the house naked for all i care….as long as you could figure out the mystery of what is causing his hives.you sound like mary poppins my dear…no child should live like those little darlings (or brats).

  2. appearantly motherhood is not for me, much less nannyhood. Good luck. It does sound rather Mary Poppins-ish, and more like you are the maid than the nanny. What I want to know, is what does the mom do all day?

  3. Super Nanny rocks.A. We do own a lot of Gap and Gymboree, but I scour the clearance racks. And people give it to me secondhand.G. Needs it, gets it about once a week if it’s a good week.H. Yeah. Sammy thinks when he matches that “we must be going to a wedding!” All his winter pants just became summer shorts because he tore the knees out.K. Weeellll…..but it’s cheap at Trader Joe’s. And we don’t have much candy. I am a bit of a health nut about kids’ food I guess.J. 9 month old got put back to bed this morning for yelling impatiently at me for her breakfast. So, um, no.I. That’s just ridiculous.Love your reading selection

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