We have come to the conclusion that, while the other opponents in this race were worthy, nothing says “Easter Eggster” quite like a Cadbury Creme Egg.
The judges found that MILK-chocolate Cadbury simply had the kind of finesse and approachability that chocolate lovers can return to again and again. It must be said though, that the recession did not escape this year’s ceremony, as the Dove nominee had to withdraw, citing flight costs as a reason. On the other side of the coin, though, some contestants (hint: Lindtog Millionare) were so overly confident of winning that they did not even bother to appear on the momentous night, and were thus disqualified. A close friend to Lindtog has implied that the rich, foreign egg may have been seen sharing drinks with Leonardo Di Caprio at the Ivy instead of hitting the red carpet, and was possibly captured on camera there by The National Inquirer.
The eggs who did show their yolks on this special night did so in sophisticated style, putting all other celebs on the red carpet to shame. The Mark/Spencer “outrageously gooey egg” came dressed to the nines, adopting the large bows and diagonal lines so popular this season. However, style did not help Mark/Spencer Gooey, which was proclaimed by one judge as “bland.” Sources claim to have heard Gooey later on in the ladies room, complaining to a friend that “the Academy just needs to get with the times! They don’t know how to appreciate free range yet, even in chocolate eggs.”
The host for the evening, Mr. Aero Flynn was dressed in his own classic, simple brown and white cellophane suit. While not nominated for a performance this year, Aero was the life of the party and impressed the judges with his “depth of chocolatey range.” He was joined by his partner and close friend of Mark/Spencer Gooey – Mark/Spencer Rattle and Roll Egg, who was proclaimed by the press as “sweet, fun and crunchy, but ultimately unmemorable.” Sources say it was Rattle who comforted a tipsy Gooey during her bathroom outburst.
But the star of the show, as we said before, was MILK-chocolate Cadbury Creme Egg. She positively glowed in and off-the-shoulder vintage white Oscar de la Renta gown as she accepted yet another gold statue for her work. In a brief but gracious speech, she thanked the Academy, her fellow nominees, her agent, Dairymilk, her husband, Bourneville Dark, and dedicated her win to her 16 little hard-shelled eggs at home in bed.
Unfortunately, Cadbury Creme Egg avoided the red carpet this year, stating that she felt too old for the glitz and glamour. Sources say, however, that she was just self-conscious about her recent outbreak of Eggsema.