– You discuss the finer points of Peppa Pig over dinner.
– A trip to the beach is always a treat, but you’ve never done so with the intention of swimming or even playing in the sand. It’s just too cold, even in summer!
– Your child would run around naked if not for the bargains at Penny’s and Dunnes, but entering such places with a buggy and a list is done so at your own peril.
– It’s more common to see a baby’s nappy changed while balanced on someone’s lap or laid across the kitchen table. Changing tables are just fancy storage units.
– Bouncy Castles are all the rage.
– You won’t even attempt to bring your child to church without a complete arsenal of food, toys, books and blankets because there probably won’t be a nursery.
– Kids are often given money when trick-or-treating rather than candy. Score!
– You don’t leave the house without a rain cover for your stroller/buggy.
– A “doody” or “doo-doo” is not what it sounds like, but rather the term for your baby’s much-loved pacifier.
– Your child starts asking for sips of tea before she’s even 2 years old… and she’ll probably be having full cups daily by age 8.
– You are overcome with an insane impulse to break things whenever you hear Zingzillas come on the TV.
– You start telling your child in September that “Santy” is watching and will bring him a “sock full of coal” if he’s bold… and you have a bucket of coal at your fireplace to prove it.
– You start buying tiny little Wellie boots as soon as your kid can walk so they won’t get their feet soaked in the puddles.
– Cadbury’s Chocolate Buttons or Milky Bar Buttons are your secret weapon.
– All the neighbours keep a close eye on you when you’re pregnant and arrive bearing gifts hours after your baby is born. News travels at lightning speed!
– While it may seem impossible to get your child to eat fresh vegetables, she will surprisingly inhale a bowl of mushy peas or baked beans over anything else.
– Your child will probably be able to kick a ball from birth… but don’t try to get him to put it through a hoop!
– You find yourself actually WISHING that the McDonald’s restaurants here had play areas so your child could run off some steam indoors!